I’m going to try and do a FMS (Funny Mom Story) from time to time. It just things that happen that are funny. They will be an addendum to my blog. Hopefully they will be funny. If not.. then just let me think they are and keep going on with what you’re doing.
Here are the steps I followed to get Lucy ready for church Sunday night. You can adjust these as necessary if you ever have to watch her.
Step 1: Wait for Lucy to wake up.
Step 2: Get Lucy out of crib.
Step 3: Put Lucy in high chair.
Step 4: Defrost frozen milk, while Lucy makes loud sounds in high chair.
Step 5: Mix rice cereal with milk, until desired consistency.
Step 6: Give Lucy a bite of rice cereal.
Step 7: Watch Lucy gag at first bite of rice cereal.
Step 8: Add warm water to thin out rice cereal.
Step 9: Come back to Lucy to find a new and different aroma around Lucy.
Step 10: Change Lucy’s diaper.
Step 11: Change Lucy’s socks…
Step 12: Put on new diaper.
Step 13: Adjust diaper.
Step 14: Put pants on Lucy.
Step 15: Take pants off Lucy and button up onesie.
Step 16: Put pants on Lucy again.
Step 17: Put Lucy back in high chair.
Step 18: Start feeding her again.
Step 19: Rice cereal is now too soupy, so it gets all over the high chair table.
Step 20: Watch Lucy play in rice cereal on table.
Step 21: Add rice cereal to the mix to thicken it up.
Step 22: Add water since Lucy gagged again.
Step 23: Watch Lucy stare at the back of her high chair.
Step 24: Get her attention again and give her another bite.
Step 25: Repeat Steps 23 and 24 – 12 times.
Step 26: Go to the sink and rinse off bowl and spoon and hands.
Step 27: Get a wet rag to wipe off Lucy.
Step 28: Wipe Lucy’s face off (She’ll scream here)
Step 29: Wipe of Lucy’s right hand.
Step 30: Wipe off Lucy’s face again.
Step 31: Wipe off Lucy’s left hand.
Step 32: Wipe off Lucy’s face again, while holding left hand.
Step 33: Wipe off Lucy’s right hand again.
Step 34: What’s that smell?
Step 35: Change Lucy’s diaper… again.
Step 36: Hold her feet with death grip so you don’t have to change her socks.. again.
Step 37: Button up onesies.
Step 38: Left leg in pants.
Step 39: Right leg in pants.
Step 40: Left leg in pants again
Step 41: Take pants off and change onesie because it had food on it.
Step 42: Find new onesies to put on.
Step 43: Get it halfway on and realize its way too small.
Step 44: Put it in the “too small to wear” box.
Step 45: Grab another onesie.
Step 46: Put on pants.
Step 47: Take pants off and button onesie.
Step 48: Left leg in pants.
Step 49: Right leg in pants.
Step 50: Take curtain out of Lucy’s mouth.
Step 51: Left leg in pants again.
Step 52: Find a bib to put on Lucy before you have to change onesies again.
Step 53: Look her over – make sure everything is where it needs to be.
Step 54: Look yourself over.
Step 55: How did that get there? Wash your hands
Step 56: Put Lucy in her car seat.
Step 57: Find her diaper bag.
Step 58: Find her paci.
Step 59: Still looking for her paci.
Step 60: She’s got her paci.
Grab purse, diaper bag, and baby and you are ready to go! It’s as easy as that!