All posts by akirkley

Psalm 27: 4

Psalm 27:4 says, “I have asked one thing of the LORD; it is what I desire: to dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, gazing on the beauty of the LORD and seeking Him in His temple.”

Wow at my options here. I could talk about how this could be literal, and say that David wanted to live at church. I could take a figurative aproach and say that David is talking about the afterlife and the “house of the LORD” is heaven and David is just making sure he will be there. I could also say, figuratively, that David is saying He wants God to be with Him at every moment; that David wants God to dwell with him. I could say all these things, but I would be uncertain. I don’t know for sure if David is using a metaphor or not.

I do know that David was a “man after God’s own heart,” and I know that when David screwed up, he did it big.

I do know that David longed for God. He yurned for God. He wanted to see God, to touch God, to hear God, feel His presence, understand Him, know Him more and more, become so close to God it were as if they were one thing.

I also know that I do not seek God like that. I read my bible in the moring, and I listen to Christian music only, and I’ve given up TV and movies, and I am married to a preacher, and I sing in the praise band at church, and I havent missed more than one Sunday of church since I was 9, I keep the nursery every Wednesday night, and I pray before every meal even in public. Some would say that it seems as though I follow after God pretty closely.

I know my heart.

God knows my heart.

I do love God with all that I am. He really is my everything. But I also know that, my list of things, (number 1) is all listed. That is all I do for God. It may sound like a lot, but there is ay more stuff I do more than stuff for God. And (number 2) there are probably 100 things I should add to that list, like witnessing to everyone I meet, praying for people on the spot, going door to door, etc.

I do not chase after God. I should. I normally point the finger in these little devotions, (you should… we shouldn’t…), and you should be chasing after God like David as well, but this mornings message was very much for me.

Pray for me, and I will be praying for all of you.

Psalm 25: 16-18, 20

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am alone and afflicted. 17 The distress of my heart increase; bring me out of my sufferings. 18 Consider my affliction and trouble, and take away all my sins. 20 Guard me and deliver me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in You.

The subtitle to Psalm 25 is dependence on the Lord. I wonder how many times when struggles hit do we run to God? How many times do we run to ourselves, doctors, best friends, husbands, wives? You get my point there.

Last Monday we had a Cinco de Mayo party. After everyone had left, we looked around and couldn’t find Hunny, my chihuahua. It was dark outside and it was not like her at all to be gone this late. I called her from the back porch…nothing. I called her from the front porch…nothing. Wes and I walked up and down the driveway…nothing. We came inside and Wes remembered he needed to clean out his spray gun. I went with him and was calling for Hunny, then I stopped and prayed, “God…bring my puppy back…” before I could continue Wes said, “Well, there she is.” I shout, “Thank you, Jesus!”

I say all that to say…no matter the problem, no matter big or small, like a test, losing your dog for a couple of hours, getting talked about at school, debating divorce, cancer – whatever it is, if it is importat to you, it is just as important to God. Include Him in your little struggles and your big ones as well.

second test

ok.. so i am trying to figure out this whole mobile blogging thing. its slightly confusing. I am, however going to start using it instead of facebook to do my posts each morning. I am going to fix it so that everyone still gets my posts and nothing is different, just where they are coming from. ok, lets see if I’m still internet savvy!

Not a blogger.

I’m not a blogger. Never thought I was. I’m more of a writer. I’m going to leave this here, and I’m going to try and add some stuff here and there, but no promises. I’m much faster at typing rather than writing, but writing is so much more personal. I have journals that i can read. Other people can read this stuff, which seems a little bit scary, especially since this is all just for me. So.. don’t be looking..

Like anyone will ever even read this. Ha.

Little kid memories

I was thinkin the other day – simply because i have just now begun to do so – and I had a conversation with my good friend at work. We were talking about memories, and how they are skewed. I told her that I didn’t have many memories of my childhood, because I didn’t have a mom to tell them to me. I think thats true. I think that all of our childhood memories are simply stories that we have made up images too in our little minds to help us remember dumb stories that our parents thought were simply the cutest little things ever. For example, when i was like 5 i cut up a dress my mom had bought me for easter. I got a spankin. My mom told me that was the worst spankin that i ever got. I always tell the story and its “title” is the “Only spankin i ever really remembered”.. which is not true. When i sit and think back really hard – i do not remember it. I have no visual of it. I cannot nor could not tell you the color of the dress, the size sissors or where it happened. I could tell you where, and what the room probably looked like, simply cause i lived at the house for a few years but i dont personally remember it. But my mom does. She knew exactly what it all looked like – and she told me, and i adapted those thoughts, her images, as my own. I think this happens with a lot of our stories of the little selves we used to be. I think a great deal of our childhood memories belong to someone else, and we dont really own them. So please!!! enjoy the memories that you have or have been given by your parents, because mine are few because i dont have anyone here to tell me what cute or obnoxious things i did as a child. I will never know, not until i get to Heaven, and by then i won’t stinkin care. I’ll be walkin on gold, who would care?