Category Archives: Funny Stuff

032315: The Beans’ Revenge

So, a few weeks back I tweeted something to the effect of: I hit myself in the face with a can of beans if you’d like to feel better about your day. 

It had happened by sheer luck and physics that I smacked my jaw with a can of beans in a bag from the grocery store. 

Apparently beans talk, because their cousins got revenge today. 

I bought a HUGE can of beans- the 7.5lb can of beans to be exact- to make for a thing we are doing this weekend. I needed to make enough to feed 25 people. 

 

So I got a can of beans the size of Lucy’s head.

That should be enough. 

I got home, got the kids unloaded, and like any red-blooded American, I wasn’t going to dare make two trips into my house to bring in all of the groceries. So I was loading myself down. I had bags up to my elbows on one side and only 1 bag in the other. 

The double-bagged can of beans. 

I’m not sure how it did it, how it managed to pull this off… But it broke free. It heard what I said. It knew I degraded beans on the Internet. So, it struck out for revenge, and boy oh boy, did it prevail. 

It broke free of its double cell, and plummeted swiftly to my big toe. 

I dropped every bag in my hands, and gasped for air. I don’t cuss, but even if I did I don’t think I could have found the words. No words escaped me. Just moans from the depths of my broken soul, my broken-toed soul. 

I didn’t even care if my milk had exploded or landed on my hamburger buns. Thankfully neither of those events occurred. I hadn’t shamed milk before. It had no reason to betray me. 

I had shamed beans. 

And they got their sweet, sweet barbecue revenge. 

  

I had to take my gel polish off to asses the damage. 

I will call this “The Summer of Closed Toed Shoes.” 

Yippie. 

Now off to make a batch of the tastiest, meanest baked beans you’ve ever had. 

Stupid beans. 

Devotional: Psalm 139 // Catch up and Cute videos!

Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. (Psalms 139:24 NLT)

A lot of times we come to God with requests, pleas, urgencies.

We have situations that come up, requests that we ask. And that’s okay- our God loves us enough to hear us out on them.

But when that’s all we do… It becomes not enough.

We come to God with praises. We praise him for his creation, for his authority, and his presence in our lives. And this too is well and good and Much needed- all glory should go to him anyway… But it still isn’t enough.

It never will be. Nothing we can do will ever be worthy. Thank goodness for Jesus.

But just because we are totally incapable, doesn’t mean we don’t have a job to do.

We should still strive for better. Today you should be better than you were yesterday. Tomorrow, better than today.

Best way to achieve that? Talk to God about it. He knows more about you than you do.

He can show you the things you need to weed out of your life. He can also help you do the weeding- but he won’t weed it for you. That’s on you.

You have to make that decision and follow through.

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Life Blog

Life’s been going. Non stop. Had kinda a rough patch the past few nights. Judah, is actually sleeping really well.

Lucy? Has wet her bed 4 nights in a row. One night twice!

I’m running outta sheets.

And I have no clue why.

Definitely frustrating.

Anyway… Onto fun stuff!

Lucy has also been living up to the “terrible twos” nick name.

Found her playing in baby powder…

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It’s in her hair. It was everywhere.

Then I found a stuffed elephant covered in Vaseline. She’s constantly eating my Chapstick. It’s always something. I gotta get on Pinterest and find some toddler crafts or something.

Judah looks cute in a towel.

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Who am I kidding?! He’s always cute!

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We had some friends over for dinner and Judah got a little play date! Look how cute they are!

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And Lucy is getting prettier by the day.

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Saturday we went to the zoo. Lucy loved it!

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We then came home and swam. It was nice to spend the day just us four.

Ok.. Finally the cutest videos I’ve done in a while…

Judah eating sweet potatoes:

He was doing that all on his own. He does it a lot. It makes him sorta hard to feed – but it’s quite adorable!

And Judah “crawling”:

Hey.. get it done how you have to little man.

Hope your day is FAB!

Devotional: Psalm 37 // Chocolate milk

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Psalm 37:23

It is important for us to focus on God in the daily details of our lives, not just the huge main events.

Including God in the minor events helps us realize his sovereignty even more than when we only include him once every few months in huge life changing decisions.

Not I’m not saying we need to pray for 10 minutes about what to wear before we get dressed, but simple things – like planning our calendar, which errands to run first, where to eat lunch even. God might have an ordained meeting for you at a specific place at lunch that you might miss out on if you don’t listen to even his most quiet call.

He’s concerned about you. And he wants to use you in other people lives, because he’s concerned about them too. Including him will make a difference in your life. I promise.

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Life Blog

I’ve come up with what I’m going to do with the blog. And I’m excited about it. I hope you like the change. I’ll reveal what I’m going to do tomorrow.

So to recap the past couple of days…

My tulips are starting to bloom! This makes me very happy.
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Judah’s still cute..
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Not sleeping well.. but cute.

One day last week I went outside to find one of our chickens in Lucy’s stroller.
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The next day I found this.
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Not kidding. That actually happened.

Judah is just the sweetest kid ever. By the way.
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And me and Lucy are face-makers.
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And Lucy doesn’t play with dolls. But I caught her doing this the other day.
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She was wrapping up her “cho-lat milk”. And then…

She rocked it.
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Kid you not. That kid is weird. LOVES her chocolate milk.

I rock him…
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So sweet.

Got stuff to do today, so hope your day is great! Stay warm!

Devotional: 1 Peter 5 // Weekend Recap: 80s Night!

So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. 1 Peter 5:6a MSG

Man, if this isn’t a perfect verse.

Ever have a right place at the right time moment?

I know we’ve all had wrong place wrong times, an those an be quite terrible. But the right place right time moments can be pretty great.

I can think of a few times this happened to me.

Once I went shopping at dirt cheap. Got out of my car, looked down, and saw a $10 bill. Wasn’t a car or soul around.

I met Switchfoot when they came to Hattiesburg a few years back, because we were with a friend who knew some guys working, he hadn’t seen them in a while, and they gave us their neck tags to get in the back.

I can think of a few more times, but they are all the same. A surprisingly good thing happened.

And I don’t believe in coincidence.

It was God’s promoting.

Because he cares. Even about little things.

No matter what your dealing with, (or even if you aren’t dealing with something!) His strong hand is on you, and He knows when to promote you.

He also knows when to hide you, but that’s another post all together 🙂

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Life Blog

So, 80’s night went well, to say the VERY least. We had a stinking blast! Here are some of the best pics of the night 🙂

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We had a table set up for those of us who can’t tease our own hair…
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And even the babies got it.
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Lucy didn’t really have any hair to tease… so red lipstick it was!
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Once we were done with all of our hair, and make up, and had the room smelling like hair spray (still does I think…) we did what all girls do.. Take pictures.
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Tammy and Johnny took the cake. He wore his jersey.. FROM 1985!
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*Side note – they are married 😉

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Gah, so Vogue.
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It was definitely a night to remember. We laughed so hard. We did some dancing, and some pictionary and it was a great night. The theme was basically, “Don’t get caught up in the past” Move forward. God has plans for us. And it was awesome.

Then Sunday came – and it was a great church service. Wesley dressed Lucy.
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And in size Newborn socks.
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Bless him.

And Lucy played in the chair. She fell back herself. This picture is hilarious though.
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Church service was freeing. Literally, people released from so many things. Myself included.
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Church that night was great too. Practice looks like this for me 🙂
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And the picture to end them all.. Judah’s pouty face. He has MASTERED this face.
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Look at that! Buy him the world… He better not keep that face going too much longer or all I will ever do is hold him and rock him and buy him whatever he wants. Lucy didn’t do this face. He’s got it down. I can’t let him know the effect it has on me 🙂

Ok, I’ll see you all later. Sorry this was so late! Hope the pics made it worth it!

PS – I’m taking his 3 month pictures TODAY. Promise.

Devotional: Galatians 5 // Kiddos

It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. Galatians 5:13 MSG

I will never forget a sermon I heard at youth camp on time, with this being the main verse.

I couldn’t tell you which camp, or camp pastor, but I do remember what he said.

When we take advantage of the freedom that Christ gives us, we are making the blood of Christ something cheap.

That hit me to my core.

When people have the mentality of, “well, Jesus will forgive me anyway, so it doesn’t matter if I keep doing it… I’m saved… He loves me regardless of the sins I’m committing…” thats when they are treating the blood that Jesus shed something that isn’t worth much at all.

When something isn’t worth a lot to you, you abuse it. For example, a VHS tape or a rental car.

We have some VHS tapes. Don’t even have a player. Not sure why we keep them. (Marking that on my to do list…) I saw some VHS tapes for sale at a consignment shop and I thought, “really? VHS?” My kids will never see those. Will never know that those were before DVD’s.

I remember when DVD’s came out. (Tells my age…) Anyway… back on to subject.

Have you ever been in a rental car?

No one, I repeat, NO ONE treats their rental car like their own. If they drop a french fry.. so what. If they spill a little coke in the cup holder.. no biggie. If they hit a pot hole going 45.. whoops.

I remember us getting a rental car when Wesley’s car had been in a wreck. Insurance was paying for it. Wesley popped the hubcaps off and literally pulled the parking break and slid down the driveway EVERY TIME we came home. Not kidding. Would he have done that in HIS car?

NO WAY. That was the car He had when we got married. He threatened people with their lives if they decorated it at our wedding. No one touched it.

Back on track… Sorry.. Must have some rabbits in my head this morning.

When something isn’t valuable, we treat it like it isn’t valuable.

So continuing to sin, and telling ourselves (or others!) that God’ll forgive you anyway is treating Jesus like he isn’t valuable to you.

And we all know that isn’t true.

And there is a difference between sinning like that, and the ones we wish we could stop doing. I’m always catching myself, after I’ve sinned, after I’ve had those thoughts, thinking, “Why did I do that? Why did I say that? What was I thinking?”

Those sins are different. I don’t think in my head, “Oh, He’ll forgive me, I’ll do it anyway…”

With Christ, the whole easier to ask forgiveness than permission thing doesn’t work. He knows what’s going on in your head.

Even if you don’t say “He’ll forgive me, etc.” and you do the sin after debating about doing it – you are treating him cheaply.

Remember His value. He set us free. He gave us power that is beyond anything we’ve ever known. He beat death and the grave. He freed us from sin, bondage, weakness, sickness, and eternity in hell.

He gave us his life. That wasn’t cheap, it wasn’t free. It was priceless. Lets remember to treat it as such.

 

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Life Blog

We are AAAALLLLLmost done with our shop. Got a couple of things here, couple of things there, and we will be DONE. And I’m so glad. I’ll be happy to have Wesley back in the house and around if I need him. I’ll also be glad to not be helping him on it. We both get frustrated when I “help”.

I am also working on hand towels for a small craft show coming up Monday. I’m excited about selling some stuff. And I’m sure you’ve all seen the little commercial for ‘Square’ that lets you accept credit and debit cards on the go? Well, I’ve got one! So I’ll be able to accept credit transactions in case someone doesn’t have any cash (which is like… everyone..).

I’m hoping Lucy and Judah will be good for me that day… I know they will. I’ve been super blessed with good kids. Lucy obeys, and is (for the most part) polite. I’ll show you what I mean later. And Judah.. well… he just lays around and eats and poops. That’s about it.

So a quick recap? Last Friday night I met up with some friends at La Fiesta to eat. Lucy loved the guy playing guitar.
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And Judah wears jeans sometimes. Hehehe! Look how big they are on him! Talk about wide leg… like baby jnco’s.
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We’ve been doing a little bit of potty training with Lucy, but its been cold, so I try to keep her legs warm, but she’s gotta wear the panties or training pants.. it always ends up like her looking like a small bohemian hobo. A cute bohemian hobo.
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Judah still sleeps most of the time. And.. anywhere he lands.
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Lucy isn’t ticklish on her feet.
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And I got another super cute picture of my two babies.
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And finally.. what I meant by her being polite most of the time. Here’s a video of Lucy calling me. She was calling the dog the other day, and then she realized that I’m not the only one who can say “come here”. So.. pretty much randomly throughout my day I hear, “Mama! C’mere! Mama! C’mere!” It’s so adorable I always go… I know it will get old, but for now its just cute.