Category Archives: Funny Stuff

FMS: Lucy’s Favorite Commercial

Seriously – this is the funniest stuff – the truth.

You all know I’m a big fan of my phone right? Well.. in case you didn’t know – I am the very proud owner of an iPhone 4. I love it. I take pictures with it, I take videos with it. I sometimes make calls with it too. It keeps me connected. I am by far an iPhone fan. I always will be.

Lucy is already trying to be a rebel.

There is a commercial out – I encourage you to watch this:

This is a commercial for the Sprint Evo 4G. As you saw… its a smart phone that can “beat the iPhone”.

First off.. no it can’t.

Secondly? It’s my daughter’s favorite commercial. It comes on – and she stops, whatever it is that she’s doing, and watches it. I don’t know if its the catchy tune, or the guy’s sweet velvet voice, or even the little green ‘android’ robot guy. Irregardless – Lucy loves it. She’s such a rebel.

Don’t believe me? Here’s my first video evidence. Notice her after the commercial ends:

Yep. She goes right back to playing with her barnyard jamboree.

Here’s another. She’s so captivated she forgets to close her mouth.

And if you STILL don’t believe me…

Boom. Truth.

My daughter loves my dearest iPhone’s arch enemy.

FMS: Wiggly Footed Lucy

Ok.. Its not a REAL Funny Mom Story- but it is funny. Or Cute. Whatever.

Lucy has this thing with her feet. She can’t… leave them still.

If she’s sitting in a lap – she wiggles her feet.

If she’s in her high chair – she wiggles her feet.

If she’s falling asleep – she wiggles her feet.

Just like her daddy. He twitches his feet before bed… EVERY NIGHT. Trust me I know. It used to keep me awake.

Lucy does the same thing. She gets it honest.

Watch her right foot go!

FMS: 60 Steps to get Lucy ready (AKA Why I’m always late)

I’m going to try and do a FMS (Funny Mom Story) from time to time. It just things that happen that are funny. They will be an addendum to my blog. Hopefully they will be funny. If not.. then just let me think they are and keep going on with what you’re doing.

Here are the steps I followed to get Lucy ready for church Sunday night. You can adjust these as necessary if you ever have to watch her.

Step 1: Wait for Lucy to wake up.
Step 2: Get Lucy out of crib.
Step 3: Put Lucy in high chair.
Step 4: Defrost frozen milk, while Lucy makes loud sounds in high chair.
Step 5: Mix rice cereal with milk, until desired consistency.
Step 6: Give Lucy a bite of rice cereal.
Step 7: Watch Lucy gag at first bite of rice cereal.
Step 8: Add warm water to thin out rice cereal.
Step 9: Come back to Lucy to find a new and different aroma around Lucy.
Step 10: Change Lucy’s diaper.
Step 11: Change Lucy’s socks…
Step 12: Put on new diaper.
Step 13: Adjust diaper.
Step 14: Put pants on Lucy.
Step 15: Take pants off Lucy and button up onesie.
Step 16: Put pants on Lucy again.
Step 17: Put Lucy back in high chair.
Step 18: Start feeding her again.
Step 19: Rice cereal is now too soupy, so it gets all over the high chair table.
Step 20: Watch Lucy play in rice cereal on table.
Step 21: Add rice cereal to the mix to thicken it up.
Step 22: Add water since Lucy gagged again.
Step 23: Watch Lucy stare at the back of her high chair.
Step 24: Get her attention again and give her another bite.
Step 25: Repeat Steps 23 and 24 – 12 times.
Step 26: Go to the sink and rinse off bowl and spoon and hands.
Step 27: Get a wet rag to wipe off Lucy.
Step 28: Wipe Lucy’s face off (She’ll scream here)
Step 29: Wipe of Lucy’s right hand.
Step 30: Wipe off Lucy’s face again.
Step 31: Wipe off Lucy’s left hand.
Step 32: Wipe off Lucy’s face again, while holding left hand.
Step 33: Wipe off Lucy’s right hand again.
Step 34: What’s that smell?
Step 35: Change Lucy’s diaper… again.
Step 36: Hold her feet with death grip so you don’t have to change her socks.. again.
Step 37: Button up onesies.
Step 38: Left leg in pants.
Step 39: Right leg in pants.
Step 40: Left leg in pants again
Step 41: Take pants off and change onesie because it had food on it.
Step 42: Find new onesies to put on.
Step 43: Get it halfway on and realize its way too small.
Step 44: Put it in the “too small to wear” box.
Step 45: Grab another onesie.
Step 46: Put on pants.
Step 47: Take pants off and button onesie.
Step 48: Left leg in pants.
Step 49: Right leg in pants.
Step 50: Take curtain out of Lucy’s mouth.
Step 51: Left leg in pants again.
Step 52: Find a bib to put on Lucy before you have to change onesies again.
Step 53: Look her over – make sure everything is where it needs to be.
Step 54: Look yourself over.
Step 55: How did that get there? Wash your hands
Step 56: Put Lucy in her car seat.
Step 57: Find her diaper bag.
Step 58: Find her paci.
Step 59: Still looking for her paci.
Step 60: She’s got her paci.

Grab purse, diaper bag, and baby and you are ready to go! It’s as easy as that!

Funny

I have decided… to try and be funny on my blog.

I normally make people laugh throughout my daily life, but I’ve never actually tried to make people laugh. Ok, maybe once. And when I tell laffy taffy jokes.

There is a blog that I follow religiously. His name is Tyler Stanton. He is hilarious. I wish he blogged everyday. I literally laugh until I cry. And I thought… I should give it a shot. I should try and make people laugh. Why?

Well… because laughing is fun. Its much more fun than being serious all the time. It’s a lot more fun than crying. Most of the time anyway.
I don’t know exactly what I’ll be doing to try and make you all laugh more… but I’m going to attempt it.

Mr. Stanton makes lists. I mean.. SUPER funny lists. When I read them I can’t breathe. And his tweets on twitter are also really funny.

His blog, by the way is www.TylerStanton.com.

Laughing is good for your soul – I’m convinced. So, I’m going to try and help you all have fun(nier) days when you read my blog.

So to get us going.. here are a couple of super cute videos of my Lucy.

Happy

Ahh… hard to follow those.

Here is my funny story of the day…

I teach teenagers. You may know this already. You may not. I teach Graphic Design and Art. I used to teach Biology. Over my very few short years of teaching… I’ve learned one thing. Teenagers are dumb. They say some of the dumbest things. They don’t have filters. A filter is a thing that most adults have. It’s the thing that goes on in your head that says, “wait a second.. lets think this through before we let those words go spewing out of our mouth!” It makes us pause before we say things like, “Oh my.. You’re baby is ugly,” or “Wow, you’re fat.”

Teenagers lack this. Its not present at all. Well, in most of them anyway.

So my teenagers have said things like:

“You know, a third world country.. like China.”

“My eyebrows feel thick.”

“Penguins are racist. They don’t like me.”

I’ve taught juniors in high school that called the hands on a clock “wands”. I’ve taught kids who thought a hibiscus was the “saints thingy” (fleur di lis). I’ve had kids who couldn’t read a clock. Wait… all of those were one student. Oops.

Poor teenagers. Its really amazing how much they learn between 11th grade and 12th grade.

I’m really surprised that some of mine can walk and breathe at the same time. Not kidding. Sometimes its not even funny.

I taught a football player once who (was the epitome of a dumb jock) and he broke his foot… walking. Literally.. it just sprained without any help from gravity or anything. That takes talent.

Sorry.. I’m looking back and I’m thinking.. this isn’t funny at all. I’ll work on it. I’ll have to wait until I have something really funny happen in class. Then I’ll tell you all about it. I’m SO looking forward to Christmas break. Gracious.. week come on!