Category Archives: Life

Fear and Reverence

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

There are so many things a woman can be today. There is almost no job a woman can’t do. (Legally, I don’t think there is one. Even a man watch model – she probably shouldn’t, but hey.) We have every right as a man to do whatever we want. I think my mom was like 40% feminist. She believed in Women’s rights, and women being strong willed and capable. I agree. Women should have rights, we shouldn’t get beat because we didn’t do the dishes, and we should have a say in our families lives, but my mom and I disagree on one thing. She told me since I was 5 that, “You don’t need a man to survive.” And, again, that’s true to an extent, but I have a couple of things about that, that are not true.

1. There is one man in my life that I absolutely cannot live without – Jesus. Now, I know she wasn’t talking about Jesus in this, but I’m just using this as an example. Everyone needs this man. Everyone needs to fall in love with Him and let Him guide their life. Hands down, best man ever.

2. Ladies – you do need a man to have a family. No man, No family. You shouldn’t be doing that out of wedlock. If you want a family, you must do that. So… putting it all together – you want a family – you need a man.

I don’t need Wesley for all the stuff around the house, I’ll be quite honest. I can fix the toilet just as good as he can. He’s no plumber. But, there is a lot of stuff around the house that I’d MUCH rather not do – like fix the pipes outside in the mud. Or mow. Or kill the big spiders and what not. I’ll let him do that for me. Its just the same as Wesley not needing me to cook. He could survive without me. (I mean it might be on peanut butter sandwiches, but he’d live). He lets me do that for him.

A woman doesn’t have to have anything in her life, besides Christ Jesus. He’s all. A woman gets to choose the people and things she puts in her life, which is great. Freedom is always good. I hope that people look at me and think – ‘now there’s a woman who fears the Lord.’ (I wanna side step here and define fear for you: reverence – not like actual, ‘I’m scared’, not like if you walked in and saw a 2″ wide spider on your couch – not that kind of fear). I want people to see me and know that I have reverence for my God, by the way I live my life (at work, home, and elsewhere). Its hard to do everything there is to do, and still have time to do what you want. That’s what it’s like to serve in the ministry.

We’ll talk about rest another day…

Ladies – serve God. Serve your families. Serve your husbands. Not because they deserve it, because they may not, but because God asks us too. Its not easy – but its worth it.

Oh my.

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:”- Proverbs 31:10, 27-28

Literally, Oh my gosh. What was I going to say today? “can’t talk long blah blah gotta clean my house blah blah husband freaking out blah blah” God knows just what verse to send you each day when you have a routine. Like I’ve said before, I use BibleGateway’s Verse of the Day – I don’t pick these. Clearly God does.

Mrs. Margie’s funeral is today at 11. I took a whole day off from school. But since I’m not sick or having any kind of tests done, I can use my extra time wisely and get my house in order a little bit. I’ll be the first to tell you – and I’ll tell you quick. I don’t keep a good house. I never have. At school I’m super organized, but at home…. eeek.

And the fact that our house is still a little incomplete, I think may have something to do with it – but mostly its me. I am innately lazy. I do (like the verse says) “eat the bread of idleness” too much. I know this. And I intend on working on it. I will say as one excuse – (and thats all it is) we are busy folks. I work full time, and usually come home to something going on. No excuse. Everyone is busy, I have to get my act together.

And maybe I’m doing all this because I’m ‘nesting’ or whatever. Like literally, I wanted to just start cleaning when I got up – but I didn’t because I knew I needed to eat breakfast. (See? pregnant women don’t skip meals). I don’t have long, so I’m going to go now and start my crazy cleaning day.

I feel for women who are like me and aren’t great housekeepers, and I envy women who do keep a spic and span house. Tell me your secrets. I need to know them. Apparently no one passed them down to me. (and no, we can’t afford a house keeper so that’s out the question.. )

Pray for me in this matter – I normally talk to myself and you (thanks for reading) at the same time. Not today – this message is all for me. Ok.

Broom? Check. Dustpan? Check. Boxes? Check. Crazy inner drive to clean my house? Check. (I’m thanking pregnancy for that last one.)

Happy Birthday Wesley.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Today’s verse isn’t about marriage or couples, but I’m going to talk about that anyway. We always apply these verses to people who have done us wrong. The people generally being friends, or family. This even applies to our spouses.

Wesley and I will have been married for 6 years on June 18 (been together for almost 10). That’s a long time when you are only 25 years old. Wesley and I got married when I was 19. If the two of us had not forgiven each other when we did stupid stuff, I can’t say we would still be married.

I think its harder to forgive the people who hurt you that you are closest too, but I think they are the most important ones to actually forgive.

I’ve seen Wesley in some bad times, and good times. I’ve seen him grow up over about 10 years. I’ve seen him do some really dumb things and then again, I’ve seen him do some absolutely brilliant things.

One thing I can’t stand about the world today, is it’s detest for marriage. Most people think its stupid and not really a commitment. Well it is. But even if it wasn’t – I wouldn’t go anywhere.

Wesley is the greatest guy ever. He may not do some of the obvious things like other guys do – he doesn’t always tell me I’m pretty, (he’s getting better) and he doesn’t bring me a dozen roses just because (probably because I’d punch him in the mouth for spending that kind of money).

He does however pray for our relationship. He prays for me. He prays for our little Lucy. He prays that we stay passionate for each other and that we keep wanting each other. (Guys, sorry, I’m about to do this) Does your man do that? This is one thing Wesley definitely does right. He prays that he has one desire, and that desire is me.

I’ll take that over 12 stinky roses any day of the week. What else does he do? He provides for me. He protects me. He helps me out of bed and off the couch (its not always easy to just get up anymore).

I love my husband very much. I’ll never forget the way I felt when I was in Montepulciano, Italy. I got to talk to him for the first time in 4 days and was relieved and then a wave of pain just hit me. I know the meaning of homesick. You actually hurt. I missed him more than anything on the planet. And I’ll never forget how awesome it was to see him walking up to me from our house when I hadn’t seen him/or heard his voice in 14 days. I just crumbled into him and cried.

He is the love of my life. I’m so blessed to have an amazing husband who follows God. He and I both will tell you that is the only thing that makes our marriage work: God. God has blessed us both with a little girl and I know she’s going to turn both our lives upside down. That’s alright, because our God is still going to be here, to help us in this new path we are about to take.

Wesley – I love you. Happy Birthday. I’m so thankful for your mom and dad who put up with you and raised you to be the good ole boy I’m married to now.

Praise Him

Doctor just called. My tests were fine. I’m fine. I do not have gestational diabetes. Thank God! I need to watch my sweets (so not like every day eat 17 cookies) but they said I could have dessert if I wanted. I don’t have to regulate my diet.
Thank you Jesus for always coming through.
Because of Jesus I am healed, my little girl is healed, and we are both perfectly healthy. God is good. Every second of they day.