Category Archives: Lucy Bea

Milk Drunk

I live with a milk drunk.

She drinks milk… and becomes a tiny drunk.

She starts getting all loopy. Her eyes roll to the back of her head. She starts grinning from the milk high. She starts making faces. Lots of faces. Here are some of her milk drunk faces.

She can’t control herself.

She smiles while she’s nursing. She doesn’t even know she has a problem. She enjoys her addiction.

When she’s finished with one, she has milk all over her face. She doesn’t even care. She just says, “put me on the other one, I’m not done yet.”

At any given time, you’ll find dried milk on her face. She covers the milk scent with Johnson’s baby scent. She tries to hide it.

All she drinks is milk. And she loves it. After she’s done, she sleeps. She sleeps hard. It’s hard to wake her up. Just like a real drunk. Here she is in her drunken milk stupor.

My little milk drunk.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Don’ta Worry, be-ah happy now

If the ruler’s anger rises against you, don’t leave your place,
for calmness puts great offenses to rest. Ecclesiastes 10:4

So far today – No breakdowns! Yay.

My hormones are worse now than they were when I was pregnant. I went today to my work to show off Lucy. They thought she was cute. I then went to the central office to add her to my insurance. Done. I feel better now. Having done just a few little things makes everything else seems much more achievable.

I’m glad to be back home with my Lucy.

Its amazing how quickly I can build up a situation in my head. And I believe Satan has something to do with that as well.

This verse helps me realize, I have to stay calm.

No one ever got anything done when they were acting like a crazy person. Its sometimes easier to act like a crazy person, but in the long run, it doesn’t help.

I have to stay calm.

I did notice this. When I freaked out, and was crying, Lucy cried. She didn’t like me freaking out. I have to stay calm for her.

There could be people who watch for you to freak out. If you flip, they flip. They don’t know why… I do.

Because as Christians, we are supposed to be solid. We are supposed to be unshakable. If we freak out, then that shows that we don’t have trust in a God we constantly tell people to trust in.

It was my fault. I didn’t pay attention to my actions. I’m good now. No more freaking out moments. A freak out moment is simply, a burst of worry. And we all know not to worry.

Lets all not worry so much.. ok… I’m really just talking to myself. Lucy doesn’t worry. She’s pretty much relaxed… see?


We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

I’ve had a rough day. I’m better now. Only because of this verse.

So… health insurance is a confusing thing to deal with. I was under the impression that Lucy would be covered under my insurance for 30 days. Well… with my *awesome* insurance, that’s only true if I’m actually going to add her to my insurance. Well, I’ll just pay the balance. The balance? Over 2 grand. Ok… so I won’t just pay the balance.

NEWS FLASH!  Having babies is expensive.

So… Lucy gets put on my insurance. At least til I can find her some cheaper insurance.

THEN… With all of that going on.. I have a crying baby who is hungry or thinks she is, but won’t eat. Then when she’s actually hungry I can’t find my little adapter that allows her to eat.

SERIOUSLY? I took it and put it on her changing table and then it seriously VANISHED. Vanished. Gone. I checked her trash can, her bassinet, the floor around it, the chair, the kitchen, the laundry room, her laundry basket, the floor in the living room, the couch, the fridge, the bathrooms, the bed, her bed, her room, her closet (I don’t know, you never know..) EVERYWHERE.

Wes comes home after I’ve had an insurance-is-stupid-and-where-is-the-shield-holy-crap-she’s-really-crying-now-is-that-bill-due-too? freak out moment. I ask him to help me look for it. Where was it?

IN HER SHIRT. Tucked away nicely behind her head.

So what have I done since all this? Calmed down for one. Also, I’ve realized, that this all works for good for me, because I love Him.

He makes all this stuff seem so small. He helps me break all this down into little pieces so I can manage them all. He cares about me… and He knows that I can get a little overwhelmed. I did today. And He cares enough to remind me of this verse and to remind me that it will all work out, and it will all work for good.

Thank you Jesus for reminding me.

Glory to God

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21

This is true. All glory should go to God. For each and every thing that happens to us, good or bad, glory to God.

A lot of times we aren’t willing to thank God for the bad things. But, a lot of times those bad things aren’t actually bad. They may seem to be at first, but generally things turn around for the better. God does not like seeing us hurting or crushed. Do not ever think that. He loves us so desperately. Its truly amazing.

We go to the doctor today for Lucy. She has to be weighed again to see if she’s putting weight back on. I can’t tell. I can tell she’s eating lots better. Hopefully her weight will be a non issue. Last week when they scheduled the two week check up, I flipped out a little on the inside.

Was I not doing it right? Was it me? I’m the only thing that feeds her. Am I doing it wrong? Am I not enough? What if she gets even smaller?

The what if’s danced around in my head.

but… Glory to God.

Its not a big deal. Why? How do I know? Because God loves Lucy more than I do. He has big plans for her. I just know it. And those plans involve her growing up and becoming a woman. She will be fine. God will take care of her, when I can’t.

He took care of me when my mom couldn’t. How dare I not expect the same from Him with my little girl. At least, I will be here for her. I hope she knows just how much I love her. I’ve only known this little girl for 2 weeks, and I would take a bullet for her. I would take any punishment or pain for her so that she wouldn’t have to experience it. In a second.

Glory to God. He is worthy of all our praise regardless the situations we are in.

We have to leave in 10 minutes. So much for Lucy getting a bath before we go. Eeek.  Here is a picture from her last bath time!


As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. Psalm 18:30

God knows all we need. He knows how to make us work. He knows what to do always.

Since I’ve had ole Lucy, I’ve not wanted to leave my house. Wes keeps coming home from running errands and doing church stuff, and I think he feels guilty because he gets to go and do and I don’t.

I don’t mind at all. I’m actually probably happier here with my baby than I am anywhere else. Except, I don’t want to go anywhere. Or I didn’t.

So I thought, is this postpartum depression? Oh goodness. I don’t want that. So I looked it up. There are two things that happen to women after they have delivered. Baby Blues is one and Postpartum Depression is another. PPD is when a woman doesn’t want to take care of herself or her baby. That is definately not me. Baby Blues is the crazy influx of hormones that goes out and comes into your body. The pregnancy ones stop, and the breast feeding ones begin. This makes you a little bit nuts.

So I had the Baby Blues. I woke up this morning, and felt much better. I guess my raging hormones have decided to slow down a bit.

Its funny that God created us this way. And I started thinking. The best thing in the world for Lucy, was me wanting to spend every second with her. She needed that from me for the first week or two. I’m still content being at home, but I wouldn’t mind running an errand here or there now. Two days ago I didn’t want to leave my bedroom.

This is what works. God knows it.

He is supreme.

I am not.

I’m glad He loves me and knows what He is doing… because generally… I don’t. Its much easier to just rely on Him and know it will all turn out right than trying to depend on myself.