Category Archives: Lucy Bea

Crying

God, how difficult Your thoughts are for me to comprehend; how vast their sum is! If I counted them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I wake up, I am still with you. Psalm 139:17-18

Our God loves us more than we will ever understand. Our minds cannot wrap around His love for us. I’m glad. If there was anything I would want to be able to not understand, it would be just that. I love knowing that there is nothing I can do, think, say, mean, or be that would ever make Him love me any less… or any more.

Lucy has made me realize God’s love in a whole new way. She has really made me start realizing just how much in love He is with us. He loves us so much. Its unbelievable.

I was taking her picture last night and I just realized that I want to watch her. I just want to stare at her. I don’t want to miss a thing she does. Its hard for me now… I’m in the living room and she is in her bed. I’m staring at the monitor… part of me wants it to start lighting up so I can run to her rescue. (And there is another part of me that doesn’t… Her cry usually means gross diaper…)

God loves us and wants us to whimper and cry out for Him. He wants us to want him. I cannot wait until Lucy says “I love you”… I can’t wait til she says “mama”. I can already tell she loves me.. She looks at me so intently. God wants us to look toward Him.

Try it out. I promise it will change you. His love will change you.

And off goes the monitor.

Blessings

“Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord, children, a reward.”
Psalm 127: 3

I always understood this verse. Children are a blessing. Parents love their children. I got it.

I so didn’t get it.

This kid has brought me more joy in a week than I ever thought my heart capable of experiencing. When she smiles, my heart melts. (Yeah, I know it’s gas… It’s still adorable).
When she holds my hand when I’m feeding her, my heart melts. When I look at her yawn, my heart melts. I have never fallen this hard or this fast for anything in this whole world. It’s amazing.

She is my blessing. She is a little bit of me (and a lot of Wesley, poor thing). I get this verse much more clearly now.

I have never been a “baby person”. You know the ones. A person walks in with a car seat and that person knows… There is a baby in the room. Baby people (I believe) have an extra sense. They can smell babies, even before they come in a room. They know they are there. And they love it. They rush over and stare at the baby, but not after washing their hands. They never touch a baby’s face. They look at the baby’s hands and feet and say something to the effect of “eating them up”. I know baby people. I am not one. I never really got why people just loved babies.

They are babies. They don’t do anything except cry and poop and make faces and sounds. They are going to grow up and become regular humans and you wouldn’t dare run up to an adult that just walked into the room, grab their hand, looka t their fingers and say, “oooo! I just wanna nibble these fingers off!” You would get tossed into one of those places, and fast.

I didn’t understand baby people. I’m still not one. But, I get it now. I understand it. Most people who love babies have been around them at some point in their life. Either it be theirs or a niece or nephew. They’ve experienced this rushing love for a completely helpless individual. It transfers over… They remember how they felt about theirs.

I understand you, baby people. You haven’t won me to your side, but I get you. More now than ever.

I will be blogging again now. Just so you know. Same idea as before, except now I’ll probably talk more about Lucy than ever.

For my family who reads this: I will try and add a little bit to the bottom of each day an update on Lucy for you, so you know how it’s going.

Lucy Bea Update: yay! She’s a week old! Nursing got rough (real rough) around day 5. I’m making milk now, and Lucy is eating good. We still are having a few issues here and there, but no one is going hungry. Thank you, Jesus.

Lucy also has an umbilical cord still. It’s black and crispy (and disgusting). It smells kinda gross. Ok, it smells real gross. When I was at the hospital they told me, “clean it like, twice a day with rubbing alcohol.”

Ok. This thing is attached to my baby girl. So, like any new mom would do, I cleaned it as gently as possible. Barely touching it. Mostly getting her belly wet with alcohol. I go to the pediatrician and he shows me how to clean it. You have to move the stub around apparently. And, tell people that the sweet babies don’t have feeling in it. That makes me a lot less scared to clean it right.

So anyway, it started leaking a little bit and had a funky smell. All my books said call the doctor, so I called the doctor. They give me a home treatment to do, and after 4 applications, it looks much better. She can’t tell. I can. I’ll be glad when she’s black stump free.

Wesley is getting better at diapers. I still do most of the poopy ones. He tries to be so gentle with her that she kicks around a lot when he’s changing her and he can’t get the diapers on right. He’ll learn he won’t break her.

Mom is doing fine too. Still tired. Moreso than Wes. He can’t do the midnight feedings. He’s missing a couple of things that make that job much easier. Luckily, Lucy loves to nap. So Lucy and I nap a lot.

She’s also a great nightime sleeper. We put her down after eating and it’s 3 hours before she wakes. Sometimes I have to wake her myself. Good girl Lucy. Keep that up sweetie.

She’s very much a content baby. She d
Hasn’t really cried yet. Like the hours of wailing… Hasn’t happened. She’s a happy girl. Based on how much Wesley and I prayed about her being a good baby, I think she’ll stay like this. Thank you, Jesus, for answering our prayers.

Today starts week 2! Let’s see what it has in store!

Amazing Love

I haven’t been blogging here lately. Sorry about that. I’m definitely going to start back once I get a routine established with Lucy. My posts will be very different… Since I’m no longer pregnant! Yay!

I was very miserable, I do not miss it. I have the sweetest baby girl to look at now. She was totally worth it all. The rashes, the aches and pains, and now the sleepless times. She’s totally worth it; even though she looks just like Wesley.

Wes posted a blog about his new life the other day. So this is like my version of his post. Having a kid changes you. In an enormous way. A way that means, I will never ever be the same again. I have been made over. I’m a mom. That role is just about my top priority now. I am her sustainer. All she needs in his world right now, to survive, is me. That is intense! I am her food supply and her constant source of care. She needs me. I need her too. I wouldn’t be a mommy without her presence. I wouldn’t have anyone to shower my kisses on, and to watch like a new episode of my favorite show. She’s better than anything on tv, by the way.

Our relationship with God is much the same, I believe. We are completely and solely dependent on Him. He needs us. Now, let me clarify. God needs us, just like I need my Lucy. I don’t need her for survival or for help. I need her to be there for me to love. That’s all. And one day I hope she loves me back. I believe that’s how God needs us. He wants us and loves us so much, it’s like a need. A want and desire turns into actual necessity.

I love my Lucy. She is the most important thing I have. I just about can’t look at her without crying. (I’m crying now). She destroyed my body, and made me feel the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life, and she did one more thing after all that. She stole my heart. I can’t look at her without this wave of emotion. I’m more emotional now than I was when I was pregnant. She is perfect. And I love her with every piece of my self. And what just amazes me and makes ms stand in awe, is that God loves her more. He loves me like that too. And you.

God, thank you so much for Lucy. She has changed my world. Keep her safe and healthy. Keep me safe and healthy for her. I thank you so much for already having plans for her. I thank you for loving her more than I can comprehend. You are on our side and that is amazing. Thank you for all that you have done for us and are still doing.

I’m going to take a nap now, with my Lucy.

Lucy Bea

I woke up yesterday morning with big plans. I was going to Sam’s and Walmart. I was taking my puppy to the doctor. I was marinating some steaks.

It seems God had bigger plans.

June 28, 2010, I gave birth to a little girl.

Lucy Bea was 4 weeks early. She’s considered preemie. She’s a big preemie, weighing 6lbs 13oz. She is 21″ long. She’s got 10 fingers and 10 toes, Wesley’s nose and my chin.

She really is amazing.

So here is how she got here, because I know you all want the (haha, literally) juicy details.

Probably about 5:30 I noticed something was a little different. I thought my water had broken. I wasn’t sure, but I knew it wasn’t pee. I called the doctor and they said I should make my way to the hospital so a doctor could check.

I called Wesley right after that. I told him I thought my water had broken. He freaked, like me, and we started packing bags. We grabbed just the necessities. We were not ready.

I assumed the whole way down here that they were gonna send me home. So we got to Wesley Medical and I got all checked in. Then, on my wheelchair ride to the 3rd floor, something changed.

I knew that my water broke. No doubt. It was a mess. An uncomfortable mess. Thank God I was at the hospital and not Sam’s. All the books say that the movies where the girls water breaks and it just gushes everywhere is not true. Well… Yes it is. It most definitely does.

So when we got there the sweet nurse said, “you won’t leave the hospital without a baby!”

Are you kidding me? She’s not due for another 3 weeks… Four really!

I was not ready. I wasn’t even contracting. Or so I thought. When they hooked me up on the machine, it corrected me.. I was having contractions. Small ones, that I couldn’t really feel. They checked me and said I was 2 cm dilated.

They moved me to a real room shortly after. By now it was about 6:30pm. We had called all the family. Everyone knew she was about to come into the world. None of us knew quite how quickly this would be.

By about 8pm, I started feeling the contractions. By feeling, I mean, they were painful. I asked for some pain meds, and they checked me again. 4 cm this time. Everyone said this was good, that some women stay at 2 cm for 6+ hours. I was there for maybe 1.

So I get some pain meds, and I start talking all crazy. I did feel much better though. So at about 9:45, I was really feeling the pains, so I asked for the epidural. They cleared out my room, and gave me the epidural right at 10:20. They told me that in 15 minutes I could press the button to get more medicine. I started pressing it immediately.

My entire body was shaking during each contraction. They were very intense. Very painful.

Wes got word his brother had made it, so he went down to meet him at the entrance. This was at 10:40. I was 5, almost 6cm, at this point. When Wesley got back up to the third floor, they told him to get into the room if he wanted to see his daughter be born. Within 10 minutes I went from almost 6cm to between 9 and 10.

Then at 10:45 I started to push. My epidural had not yet kicked in. I asked, in the nicest way I could, why I was still feeling everything. They told me it takes 30 minutes for it to really start to work. It started working at about 11:05… This was 4 minutes after Lucy was born.

The pushing and contractions were not fun. I repeat, not fun. I did scream once. (maybe twice… The pain made exactly what happened sort of a blur). My doctor told me if I wanted to have her, screaming wouldn’t help. I needed to hold my breath and push. So that’s what I did.

I think I pushed 10 times, then I heard this small choking sound followed by a tiny cry. I felt a lot of pressure release. I had done it. I had a baby… with no epidural.

When the doctor started fixing me up, I felt nothing. My epidural had finally kicked in. At least I didn’t feel that too.

I looked over and got to see a new dad cut the cord. Then I saw him follow her to the lamp as they cleaned her up. He had the camera around his neck and was a glowing dad. I saw the change in him almost immediately.

He left to go show the family our new baby girl.

Little Lucy wasted no time showing up. From the moment I knew my water broke (for real) to the time she was here was 4 1/2 hours. Not all of that was painful. A lot of it was. Every bit of it was worth it.

She has not done much so far. Mostly laid there and looked cute for us. She is already my prized possession. She has stolen my heart.

Thank you all for the thoughts, prayers, calls, messages, comments, and visits. Poor Lucy will have a hard time learning who her biological family is! She already has more family than most. We are so blessed.