30 things I’m thankful for at 30
I wrote this list today in my new journal- which is number 23 on my list.
Such a great day- even with the rain and dreariness. Then Wes planned to take me out to eat for my birthday- like we always do. We got to his moms house to drop off the kids and I walked in… To my surprise party!!
I was SO surprised!!
It was so perfect too. I would never have asked for a party- but being the extrovert that I am- I loved it. Being around friends and family (mostly family) was just perfect. Truly blessed my heart.
To those of you who came out to celebrate my 30th- thank you from the bottom of my heart!!
Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
This day, 3 years ago, I had made plans. I was pregnant. I went to Sams and Walmart. Took my dog to the vet. Came home and was cooking, and then my life changed FOREVER.
I had a baby girl. We named her Lucy Bea. And she changed my heart completely and forever.
And as you can see – parties are scary.
I love you Lucy Bea. You are so special to me. You were my first child and you made me a mother. I cannot wait until you and I get to gossip about boys and do your nails (for real) and I cannot wait to see you graduate and walk down the aisle.
I hate that my mother’s have missed some of those events in my life. I hate most that they missed meeting you. You are truly a bringer of light.
And one day, you’ll be married and you’ll have a baby of your own. And you will start to see what you were to me.
I love you.
God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! Lamentations 2:11-23
What a great verse for my birthday.
God knows and loves me and my mercies are new each morning.
A few weeks back up to currently, I’ve had several friends take personality tests. So, being bored one day, I did one myself. Myers Briggs version. Found out I’m an ENFJ personality type.
So, I read up on that type of personality. Lots of what they said was scarily accurate. And lots of it I didn’t want to admit was accurate, but it was.
The part that I didn’t like was the “weaknesses” of an ENFJ. Can be smothering, overly cautious, hold too high standards.
Boom. That’s totally me.
So yesterday as I was unpacking our life, Lucy interrupted and asked for cereal. After her changing her mind about cereal to cheese then back to cereal I went back to unpacking.
A few minutes later I hear her yell from the living room “Wan get down!” So I made my way back to help her out of her booster chair.
I walk in to her entire bowl of cereal dumped out on my dining table. And scooped around with her spoon.
Now, I know my daughter is 2. I know I should expect that from her. But I didn’t. I was busy cleaning my house and she
purposefully dumped it out to give me more to clean did what any toddler would do.
So I was the rational mom who showed her new mercies like my God shows me.
I’d love to have that be true.
But it’s not.
Faaar from it.
Nope. I yelled at her. Grabbed her up, used some of her coloring pages to clean up the table then threw them away. (Writing that now makes me sound like the biggest jerk on planet earth). I am. I then cleaned up the entire mess while giving my broken hearted toddler who was trying to not cry mean looks.
Gah. I’m so rude. So mean.
She went to the living room and just watched me clean.
I took a breather, and gained my composure and realized that I was a complete jerk to her, and so I made her come to me and I looked her in the eye and apologized for being mean and rude. I also asked her to forgive me.
I’m assuming she did since after I hugged her she jumped and said “jump? Jump.”
You may think it’s silly for me to apologize to her- but I knew I needed too.
I know what a tender heart she has and I took advantage of that.
I didn’t show her mercy.
While all along my God shows me new mercies every single day.
Boy do I have some growing up to do. Even though I’m 28. A freshly turned 28.
My goal for the new year of being more merciful hasn’t gone to a great start. But I’m going to try and do better.
Lets all try and be a little more like our God and be forgiving and merciful to others. Even our kids.
I want Lucy to be merciful, and she will only learn to be that way if I lead by example.
What a huge responsibility I have to raise up my children. I don’t want to be the demanding, pushy parent that my ENFJ personality can be. I want my kids to remember me as warm and living and forgiving and merciful.
That’s what I’m working on.
I hope you join me.
Hope your day is awesome!
Ps- no big birthday plans- just another day. Isn’t that fun? Adulthood is boss right?
TEN MONTH PORTRAITS!!
I know you are. Ok – lets recap:
She’s growing up tooooo fast. And look at the backgrounds. MS weather is nuts.
Man, I love this kid.
Today is my Wesley’s birthday. Happy birthday baby. Thanks for giving me Lucy. I would say I owe you one, but I gave her to you as well – and I know you’re appreciative of that like I am. She makes me love you more and more each day. I love you (OLD MAN!)