Tag Archives: crying

101115 – 101415: catching up

We’ve been gone all last week, so the beginning of this week was catchup week. We are a couple of days behind in school work, and the lessons are getting a little harder for her, so we haven’t been able to double and triple up on lessons. She’s still doing excellent. I’m afraid I push her too hard sometimes. I know she’s smart and I guess I forget she’s also a kid. 

She’s doing well, but she gets bogged down in her reading sometimes. And then I try to explain to her how you say “know” and “once” and then she asks why there is a “k” and why you say once like that, when it doesn’t even have a “w” in it, and I’m left sitting there wondering myself. English is a weird language. Never consistent. Never. Especially not to a five year old. 

We take rabbit pen breaks though…

And playground breaks. 

And Judah has play in the dust breaks. 

What a little boy. 

Overall, I feel like they are doing good. I had a breakthrough with Judah’s “school” on Tuesday. I’m not doing anything consistent or stable with him. He’s 3. But I am making him sit at the table some, and I am making him look at letters and numbers or at least watch educational videos. 

The other day, he was doing his letter tracing “game” on the iPad. He had gotten to S and wanted to quit. I encouraged him to finish T-Z. “I can’t want to.” Judah translation: “I don’t want to.” So, I sat with him, talked with him, encouraged him, and told him I’d let him choose the next thing he does, if he finishes. 

Month-ago Judah would have cried and pushed the iPad away and gone about his day. But today’s Judah, not enthusiastically, finished his letters. He didn’t cry, he didn’t throw a fit. I had to coax him through all of them, but I never touched any of them and I didn’t hold his hand and make him do it either. 
It’s a raggedy milestone, yes, I know. A milestone I’d never even hit with Lucy because she never acts like that. But, it was a major milestone for Judah and I, and showed me that homeschooling him won’t be as impossible as I first thought. 

He has acted a little funny since we’ve been going and coming so much lately. He got out of the tub last night, completely inconsolable. Tears flowing down his little cheeks and his little voice saying, “mom. I wanna go home. Mom, can I go home?” 

Every time I explained that we were home, he cried even more. I had to rock him to sleep and I’m thinking his tiredness was speaking on his behalf. I enjoyed the rocking, didn’t enjoy trying to decifer his tears. 


And lastly, Judah made a monster truck out of playdoh, and asked me to take a picture. 

Such pride in his little smile. 

Devotional: Matthew 7 // Yesterdays fun

Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them — this is the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 7:12a HCSB)

Ah, the ole Golden Rule.

We preach this to our kids, and we drill them about sharing and being nice, and then we call our BFF and talk about someone and how terrible they dress, or how dumb they are.

Yeah. That’s us.

Kids are naturally selfish. We all know that, and adults… Well, we have to work real hard at not being selfish. By selfish, I’m simply meaning thinking of others before yourself.

Our selfishness is the main cause of us not following this command that Jesus said.

Would you want people to talk about your screw ups and stumbles? Then don’t talk about theirs.

Would you want people to judge your appearance? Then don’t judge theirs.

I once had a woman tell me that she didn’t realize you could go to heaven with a tattoo.

Wow lady. What a nice way of telling me I’m going to hell.

Which, of course, I’m not.

Ink in your skin won’t prevent that. The only thing that prevents that is the not accepting Christ as your savior. The not following him. She was judging me, in a pretty harsh way. And it hurt my feelings, not going to lie. She wasn’t just a stranger.

Moving on… You have to be aware that your words and actions to others do affect them. Even if they don’t ever hear you say them.

If I talk to Sally about Jane, then Sally now thinks a little less of Jane. Jane is affected by my words, even though she didn’t hear them.

Lets not even get started how social media has made this worse. People forget that there are other people behind a screen somewhere and say things they would never say to someone’s face. Don’t be that person.

Lets all grow up a little bit and start thinking about others more.

Life Blog

Haven’t been sleeping much. Not really sure why. Judah just seems restless. He wakes easy, and then doesn’t cry, just.. Talks. Loudly. Then I’ll feed him, even though he doesn’t act real hungry, and he’ll fall back asleep and wake again in 2 1/2 hours.

I’ve been living on 2 1/2 hour naps. That’s why my blogs have been short.

He’s still cute though…


And look at this adorable bathtime baby!!

And little Mr. Man standing up beside daddy (he isn’t pulling up, but can hold himself up pretty good!)

And this girl…


Acting grown.

And bad.

She’s gotten more whippins in the past week than her whole life.

Partially because she’s trying to outgrow naps, but she still needs them, then she gets real crazy.

In the past week she has
– drawn on our tub with a permanent marker
– painted her nails on my leather couch with my BRAND new polish
– fallen off the couch because she was jumping on it (which is against the rules)
– thrown like 4 tantrums (where she will toss herself down to the floor and just cryy)

So.. me without sleep and her.. you can see how my week has been.

She still desperately needs a nap, but she doesn’t get sleepy enough to take one until like 4. And then she’ll wanna take a 2 hour nap, and then bedtime won’t happen until midnight.

Yesterday we played outside for a bit.




Then we went to the park so I could work out and she played with Anna (a 9 year old) down at the playground.

We got home and i made her take a shower with me. She literally SCREAMED the entire time. Not just crying. And she’d stop to take a breath, and it’d be a yawn. I got her out. Laid her on the towel and then went to find a diaper and check on Judah. when I got back I found her like this. (But stark naked.)

I managed to sneak clothes and a diaper on her and then put her right to bed. Girl was tired.

I want to avoid screaming marathons though. I do think she isn’t feeling well.. I think her antibiotics caused a.. reaction. Most of you know what sort of reaction. So I’m calling that same doctor back to see if he can give her something. Those are miserable.

Ok, I’m off to hattiesburg. Little man has 6 month shots. BOOOOO.

Coupons, Poop, and Swings

I watched Extreme Couponing last night. I got super fired up. I think Wes got a little excited too. He asked me why I don’t do that. Well… Because I don’t have time too. I’m going to start buying coupons I think. Who knows. I can’t create an army sized stockpile room like they did, and a few of them seemed like neat hoarders, but having enough of something that means you don’t have to buy it again for a month or two is a smart plan.

So far on my resolutions – I haven’t broken any!

My house is still clean. My kitchen is clean. I cooked for my husband Monday, Tuesday he had a meeting so he bought food for that, so I was off the hook. Tonight, I will cook again. I’m EXCITED!

Our clothes aren’t just piling up anymore. I feel more in control of my life. Its really sad how much having a clean house effects your mind and body. I mean really.

Lucy is doing… well. She isn’t adapting quite as fast as she normally does to me going back to work. In the whole two weeks that I was off, she may have had one crying spell. When I say crying spell, what I’m referring to is a time period of about 15-20 minutes where she cries… constantly. Nothing helps. Not the paci, not boob, not rocking, not walking, not singing, not outside, not car seat, not walker. Nothing. And then she falls asleep.

Since I’ve been going to work – since Monday – she’s had FOUR crying spells. Two Monday, and two Tuesday. She had one with her sitter on Monday, and one with me afterward, and the same thing on Tuesday. And she’s napping. Tuesday she had a good morning nap and a GREAT afternoon nap – almost 3 hours. And then she FREAKS.

I’m hoping today will be different.

It stresses me out when she flips out. And it’s so hard to hear. I can’t tell her it’s okay, and she can’t tell me what’s wrong. I hope she poops today. Although, she’s had these spells even when it’s not that. Her average right now is 9 days with no poop. Her longest stretch has been 12. I called the doctor. They said for a fully breastfed baby, that is normal. They don’t waste any breastmilk. Its all used.

Still though. TWELVE days? That seems like a while.

I really think the spells are more related to sleep than poop.

That is a strange sentence.

Anyway… I finished taking her 6 month swing pictures yesterday!

I have them uploaded. If you want to see them all (I think there were 30 total, you can click to the right and view my Flickr photostream).

Six Month Swing picture:
6 Month Portraits

So here are some of the others that I just ADORE!

This baby makes drool cute!
6 Month Portraits

Sweet little baby girl…
6 Month Portraits

Looking like she’s thinking hard.
6 Month Portraits

So adorable.
6 Month Portraits

I had to capture honesty. She was trying her hardest to gnaw on the chair.
6 Month Portraits

Sweet Little Grin!
6 Month Portraits

This is a picture of a necklace her great aunt Barbara gave her. It has real diamonds that came from Lucy’s great grandmother’s ring. VERY sweet.
6 Month Portraits

Aaannnd a video from “behind the scenes” of the photo shoot: For those of you who wonder how you photograph a baby. It’s a time consuming process. And dangerous too. Babies are wobbly.

If you haven’t yet – click back and read my “A little Older” blog and tell me your new years resolutions. We can be accountable together!

Lucy got her shots

Lucy got 3 shots yesterday. Three shots in her little bitty legs. She was so happy before. The doctor looked her over and said she looked perfect. Nothing was wrong with her. He was checking her nose and she grinned real big at him. She’s so sweet.

Then the nurse came in with the shots. She did them quickly, thank goodness. And she apologized to me before she left. She was very nice.

Lucy looked so happy… So peaceful. And then when the first shot happened she screamed. I cried. Then the second shot, and she screamed again, and before she had time to take a breath to keep crying from the second shot the third one was over. I’m glad the nurse was quick. Lucy has bandaids on her little legs.

Her daddy picked her up right after and I think that helped calm her down. She still cried a little, even after it was over. Each whimper made me cry too.

Wesley told her we would go get ice cream, and if she had been old enough to eat it, we would be eating it right now. We didn’t enjoy that event.

I can understand, in a teensy tiny way, on a fraction of a grain of sand kind of scale, how our Father felt when Jesus was hurting. I take it back… I don’t even want to comprehend that kind of pain.

Her next appointment is scheduled already… for her next round of shots. I’m dreading it already.

The doctor told us she’d probably be real sleepy, and would sleep good last night. NOPE. I think she did worse than normal.

She hasn’t ran any fever, and her little legs didn’t knot up or anything. Just like we prayed for. God is good.


It’s almost 10am this morning, and I’m already emotional. I got a reminder call last night for Lucy’s 2 month checkup. This isn’t just a checkup..

She’s gonna get some shots.

We’ve been dreading this… Since we brought her home. She’s just a baby…

The worst part, besides her actually hurting, is that there isn’t any way I can explain to her that the pain will end.

When I was growing up, any time I ever asked for anything, or asked to do something, or got in trouble, my mom would explain. She never said, “because I said so.” I think this is why I let stuff go. She said no, and gave me the reason why. Even a kid can’t argue.

But she’s just a baby. She’s a little baby, and I don’t want her hurt. She has no idea what’s happening to her, and she doesn’t know the pain will stop eventually, and I don’t want to see her hurting for real. She’s cried once or twice because of pain, I think. I just dread knowing that she’s actually hurting because she’s really in pain.

She’s too sweet to be hurt. She’s precious. She’s been smiling at me more and more each day. She smiles now without having to mess with her top lip. The other night we were watching TV, and I was laughing at something on the TV and I looked down and she was smiling so big looking at her mommy. It melted my heart.

Are now I’m going to take this sweet little baby and let someone poke a needle in her. She’s going to scream, and I’m going to cry, and Wesley is probably gonna cry. Gosh, I dread this tomorrow. The appointment is at 3 PM, so I get to wait the whole day before I actually let her go through with this and endure this pain.

Another thing that’s kind of been bugging me, is the fact that there is some research that says that the vaccines can cause more damage than good. Some research says that they cause autism, ADHD, and who knows what else. But, Wesley had the shots, I had the shots, and we both turned out normal… (ok, that’s relative). Since we don’t know if we will send her to public school or not, Lucy get the shots as well.

I prayed last night that the shots would do their job and protect her from bad, and be nothing but good for her. That none of those bad things would happen to her. I believe in Jesus as a healer, and a preventer. He can prevent bad. And He will. I asked Him to. It will only bring Him more glory in the long run if she’s okay. (I’ve already told you I believe her to be a worship leader.)

She’s nursing now…. And I look at her sweet chubby face, knowing I helped her get that way. God is really amazing. He put boobs right where they needed to be for moms to admire their children as they eat. And makes it easy to hold her close…

I don’t want to hear her cry. But I can’t protect her forever. One day she’ll drive to Hattiesburg by herself. Oh gosh, I’ll be a mess. I guess now I see why my parents didn’t want me to. I was their precious little thing…

Have you seen the commercials where it shows a little girl, probably 6 or 7, sitting in a car talking to her daddy, and her dad is saying things like, “don’t forget to wear your seatbelt… And don’t text… And call when you get there..” and then the camera turns back to the little girl and she’s 16 all of a sudden… That’s true. I can already see it.

But for now, she’s 2 months old. She’s got chubby cheeks and she smiles when her mommy laughs and when she’s just finished eating. She’s the most important thing in my life right now besides my husband.

Goodness… That’s a face anyone (not just me) could love. She’s just as sweet as she looks.