I would guess that one of the biggest issues in marriages today is money.
And I would be right in saying that.
In a survey done by Money Magazine, 84% of couples said that money was their source of marital tension.
In another survey done, of couples that considered themselves unhappy, 63% said that financial issues were the primary source of their unhappiness.
Another survey done said that 40% of American’s believed that honesty about finances was more important than honesty about fidelity.
91% of all American’d in committed relationships agree that it is important to discuss their partner’s financial history before marriage.
26% of people admitted they avoid talking about finances.
12% of the general population said they’ve never talked money with their spouse.
If you are in the 12%, please – PLEASE, talk to your spouse about money. Especially if you are having issues. That is probably the root cause. Know how to talk to your spouse though – go back and look at what I’ve said about communication. Google ‘good communication in marriage’ or ‘how to communicate in marriage effectively’ stuff like that. The internet is a wealth of knowledge.
Finally, a survey done in 2005 found that newly-wed couples with the highest amounts of debt (20-50K) had the lowest marital satisfaction rates.
Debt is bad. Being in debt, having a payment, isn’t the goal. Keeping up with the Jones’ isn’t what life is all about. Sure, its okay to have nice things. We all want nice things. But when that gets in the way of your relationship – you’ve screwed up. Debt is a looming thing that hangs over your head and your spirit even when it’s not in the front of your mind.
It causes stress like nothing else. The things that you don’t own, the things that the bank still owns technically, can be gone in one or two missed payments. And that’s stressful. And if your job happens to end, making payments gets a whole lot trickier.
Avoiding debt, sky high bills, and putting things on credit is the best way to go. If you have to take loans out for anything – you should definitely 100% discuss it with your spouse.
Not trusting your spouse with your money is scary because if you don’t trust someone with your money – you don’t trust them. And if you don’t trust your spouse with your money – then you probably shouldn’t be married to them. It’s one thing not letting them keep the credit card in their pocket – but not having a combined checking account creates division. Instead of ours, you have yours and mine and that’s not the mentality of a Godly marriage.
This is also one of those topics I don’t like to get into. It’s not my business how you do your money. It really isn’t. But you do need to be honest with your spouse about money and finances. You need to set goals as a couple, as a team, and try and meet those goals.
It’s not always easy to let the barrier down and discuss something like money with your spouse – tensions can run high quickly! It is important to do it though.